Jokes about programmers

1、

Does your hotel need a client?

When you are not busy, you are on the secondary end. You only need the client when you are busy.

2,

"When you used pirated copies, did you ever think about the programmers who made this software?! How should they support their families?"

" Hahaha, don't be ridiculous, programmers don't have a family to support! "

3,

A programmer was asked by a girl to repair the broadband, but the broken computer couldn't be repaired. At this time, the girl lay on the good man's back and whispered: "This computer is not easy to repair. How about we do something else, otherwise it will be boring." He felt that his technical strength had been greatly challenged and insulted, and he gritted his teeth. Rejected: "No, I can definitely fix it!"

4,

I am a programmer, and one day I was sitting on the roadside drinking water while checking the program hard. At this time, a beggar sat down next to me and started begging for food. I felt pitiful, so I gave him 1 yuan. Then continue debugging the program. Maybe his business was not good, so he just looked at what I was doing out of boredom. Then after a while, he slowly pointed at my screen and said, there is a semicolon missing here.

5,

A: Hey //What does mean?

B: Hey.

A: Well let me ask you what // means?

B: Just ask.

A: Didn’t I just ask?

B: Huh?

A: Look at the record again...

B: Finished reading.

A:...So //What is ?

B: So what?

A: Are you trying to trick me?

B: No, what do you want to ask?

......

After the continuous cycle, A broke off friendship with B in anger and studied the program by himself.

N years later, A finally achieved positive results. He recalled B and looked through the chat history. At this time, he suddenly discovered that B was not playing tricks on him... …

And he himself didn’t know what question he askedB back then...

6,

A man and woman are in a computer programming lecture. The man touches the woman's breasts.

"Hey!" she says. "Those are private!"

The man says, "But we're in the same class!"

I am a hard-working programmer. I worked overtime until almost all night tonight. I was so sleepy that I could hardly open my eyes. My female boss was very concerned and asked me if I wanted a midnight snack. I said angrily, just forget about the late night snack, as long as it allows me to sleep. The female boss blushed and said, "I hate you." Then she sat next to me without moving, as if she was very close to me, which made me very nervous. Could it be that she discovered that there was a bug in my program?

, Why can’t programmers tell the difference between Halloween and Christmas? Because 31 OCT == 25 DEC

,

Sequel

The architect went on a blind date and said: I am an architect. Beauty: Hello, Mr. Jia. Architect: Just call me shit

10

My wife called her husband who is a programmer: "I bought a pound of buns and brought them back after get off work. If I see a watermelon seller, Buy one. "

That night, the programmer husband came into the house with a bun in his hand...

My wife said angrily: "Why did you just buy a bun?"

Husband replied: "Because I saw a watermelon seller."

11

ProgrammerA: Lend me a thousand yuan.

ProgrammerB: I’ll lend you another 24 pieces, let’s put it together.

12,

A man was smoking one cigarette after another on the roadside. A woman came over and said to him: "Hey, don't you know you are committing suicide slowly? Pay attention to the warning message on the cigarette box." "It doesn't matter." The man took another puff leisurely: "I am a programmer. "Huh? What does this have to do with you being a programmer?" "We don't care about warnings (warning), we only care about errors (13

A programmer decided to practice calligraphy after retirement, so he spent a lot of money to buy the Four Treasures of the Study. One day, after a meal, I suddenly felt inspired. I studied ink and drew paper, and burned some good sandalwood. After a moment of concentration, he splashed ink and solemnly wrote a line:

! 14

First link: One project, two computers, three lunch boxes, only for a salary of 4,000, all the internal organs are damaged, the mind is destitute, and I still get up at 7 o'clock and have a meeting at 8 o'clock to deal with nine loopholes, which is very hard

Second line: Ten years of coding, nine years of working overtime, and being so busy with nothing to show for it. In the end, I don’t recognize my relatives and my body is still sore and weak. I work three shifts only for two stinky money and live alone all my life;

Hong Kong comment: Hard-working programmer.

15

Programmer

: Dude, are you rich? Programmer

：YesProgrammer

：Can you lend me some? Programmer

: Huh? What did you say? Programmer

: Can you lend me some? Programmer

: No, the previous sentence? Programmer

: Are you rich? Programmer

: No Programmer

: Dizzy, I tried the program again and the result was different! ! ! ! Get it for free

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