How the toxic Laravel community destroyed my passion for coding.

I still remember it like it was yesterday, but it was over two decades ago when I embarked upon my journey of becoming a web developer.

I dialled up on my 56k modem, hogging up the phone line so I could browse some of my favourite websites. Then I wondered how I could go about making my own.

I figured out that I could do HTML in Microsoft Word. I created a document with scrolling marquees, gif's, and everything. It was glorious and terrible.

Then I started looking at the source code within MS Word, and everything picked up from there. I learned table layouts, CSS dropdowns, and landed my first real(ish) job working on a local classifieds website.

I had always copy and pasted my menus into every single page. There were no layout files or includes, it was just good old fashioned DRY without the D. Then one of my coworkers informed me that I no longer had to spend all my time editing every single page whenever a menu or logo changed. I could use this weird thing called "PHP".

As soon as I got home I quickly figured out that I could just create one menu file and include it in all of my pages. I was completely blown away by this.

Several years passed. I had learned almost everything there was to know about vanilla JS, CSS, HTML, and PHP. I even rolled a few of my own frameworks.

The frameworks were all terrible, but they worked, and they worked fast. I didn't even know what "frameworks" were at the time, until I stumbled upon a little thing called "Laravel".

I was hesitant at first. I felt like my way was the correct (albeit awful) way of doing things. I was almost offended. Why was Laravel so popular? I gave it several tries, but my ego kept pushing me back to my old ways.

Then one day I set that aside and really gave Laravel a try. It's been over a decade now and I still use Laravel to this day. I've created dozens of packages that have received thousands of combined stars, helped people out in forums and discord channels and SO. I also supported the devs by purchasing things like Nova, among other things.

That isn't to brag, or to make myself seem more important. I genuinely loved Laravel and was stoked about waking up each day to work on something new. That wasn't until I really got involved with the Laravel "community".

I was fairly active on the Laravel subreddit. I would try and help people out as often as possible, and got a lot of hits when I would share my packages.

Then one day, something changed.

The Laravel subreddit decided to hire some new mods. I didn't think much of it at first, until I noticed that the community started becoming much less active.

The mods decided to put a bunch of new rules in place. They were deleting and locking threads left and right. It was bizarre to me, but I still tried remaining active.

That was up until one fine day when I was struggling with a package I was working on. I was learning Tailwind and wanted to roll my own UI component package with it. My problem was that I wasn't sure how to "purge" all of the classes in my package component views.

So I did what I normally do. I went to the Laravel subreddit and asked if anyone knew the best way of doing this. Looking back, it was a simple answer; just add the package dir glob to the Tailwind config file when it is installed.

However, I didn't get this answer at the time. Instead, what I got was one of these new mods deleting my question outright.

When I messaged the mod to ask why they deleted my post (which had never happened before in years of being on the subreddit), I was muted.

This really pissed me off. It was like all of the time and effort I put into the community was just washed away with the click of a button.

So I decided to go onto an alt account and tell the mod what I thought of him. I found it completely absurd that this was happening. Perhaps I was in a bit of a blind rage.

The mod then decided to ban me from the subreddit entirely, and then complain to the admins to ban my account from the entire website. Accounts which I had for decades, all gone almost instantly.

While this was happening, I was also an active member of the Laravel discord channel. I would go into the help channel every day and answer as many questions as possible. I frequently had people offering to donate me money for my help, but always declined. It wasn't about money for me, I just really loved the framework and wanted to see people thrive with it.

In the past, I noticed that Taylor (created of Laravel) got some pretty disgusting treatment on Reddit. So much so that he had deleted several accounts of his own.

おそらく、Laravel discord チャンネルの誰かが私の不満を理解してくれるかもしれないと思いました。そこで私は、Reddit の一般チャンネルで何が起こったのかについて言及し、他にこのようなことを経験した人はいるかどうか尋ねました。

Discord MOD の 1 つ (助けを求めている人に失礼な対応を頻繁に行い、初めての Laravel プロジェクトをチャンネルで共有した 15 歳の子供を禁止した) は私をシャットダウンすることに決めました。彼は、ここはRedditについて議論する場所ではないし、やめるべきだと私に言いました。それで私はそうしました

数週間が経ちました。すると突然Discordに通知が届きました。私に言及することを禁止されたのは Reddit の MOD でした。彼は不正行為を免れるために、この状況全体を持ち出したのです。彼は私たちのチャットのスクリーンショットを切り取って変更し、私を怪物のように見せかけました。もちろんです

それで私は答えました。私は、彼のやっていることは、不誠実さを露呈する嫌悪感にほかならないと言った。

次に何が起こったと思いますか？ Reddit MOD は、Discord チャンネルで Reddit について話すことに対して、私と同じ「stfu」扱いを受けましたか?

もちろん違います。

私に Reddit について話すのをやめるよう言った Discord MOD は、すぐに Reddit MOD の側に立って、それについて投稿してくれた彼に感謝さえしました。文字通り彼に感謝しました

またまた激怒してしまいました。私が10年間活動していたコミュニティから追放された男は、今では何が起こったのか皆に嘘をつき、そのことで感謝さえされるようになりました。その話はやめようって言ってくれた人に感謝

Discord チャンネルの他のユーザーも混乱していました。メンバーが、問題が消滅してから数週間後に Reddit の MOD がこの問題を取り上げたのがいかに奇妙だったかについて言及していたのをはっきりと覚えています。

次に何が起こったのかは決して推測できないでしょう。 DiscordチャンネルからBANされました

これだけのことがあった後でも、自分がクールなクラブに所属していないことが明らかになるまで、私はできる限り貢献し続けました。私はもはやカルトのメンバーとしてふさわしくありませんでした。私の自己PRはすべて定型返信で締めくくられています。私は、私のコードが「間違っている」と主張して自分たちを馬鹿にし、自分のエゴを守るために同じ PR コメントを 3 回も後戻りするグラハム キャンベルのような人々に翻弄されています。

私は今、コーディング全般にうんざりしているところにいます。仕事のプロジェクトを開かないといけないときはいつもうんざりします。私のサイドプロジェクトはすべて削除されました。私の MIT リポジトリはすべて削除されました。

Typescript / Node / Bun にジャンプしてみました。しばらくは楽しかったですが、口から不快な味が消えないようです。私は、利益ゼロの何かにこれ以上時間を浪費しないように、無意識の防御機構が働いているかのように、非常に強迫的な方法でプロジェクトを作成したり削除したりすることが頻繁にあります。

今、私は完全に途方に暮れています。毎日、かつてあったものの蜃気楼を追って、誰もいない砂漠をさまよっているような気分です。 Web 開発は、私がこれまでまともに取り組んできた唯一の仕事で、お金を稼ぐことができ、実際に楽しむことができました。それは、私が実際にやり続けていると思える唯一のキャリアです。今、自分自身をどうしたらいいのかさえ分かりません。

配管工になるべきだった

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